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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I AM....FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME: a Poem, July 2015 update


This is from a year and a half ago. I got to thinking about it today when I made a new friend/my new sister. She told me to take hold of the power of "I Am". Those 2 words hold the power of attraction. I believe it. I have always believed it. So I want to republish this poem I wrote, commemorating my belief that I truly am, I AM.



 I was walking around downtown today, which I shouldn't have been doing since I am really under the whether with a bad sore throat, and I had a most unusual thing happen to me. This is something that is commonplace for cis-women. I'm experiencing many things cis women have endured all their lives. I was always aware of them, but they were never targeted toward me, because of my guileful presentation. I was called "Babe" for the first time. My mind was blown. What the?

I began to think about all the sexist language in our culture. Sure some of it is innocent enough, but everyone can discern the intonations of the intended meaning of every word, when they are spoken. That is called being literate. This was a genuine inflective. He really intended to be nice to me. Part of me really enjoyed it, while the other half of me cringed. And some of me just thought, "do you see what I see?"

So I came home and it stirred in my mind a little bit, and some thoughts for a poem started popping into my head. It's only the 2nd or 3rd poem I've ever written, so don't expect anything great.




My mind engaged in spightly contemplations
Sundry impressions forming ideations
Machinations
Preperations
Knock down drag out
Frustrations

Heartsick for cherubic adaptations
Pretending, longing, only gets me futile fruitions
Lordbations
Destinations
Knock down drag out
Accumulations

Discovered futures without manifestations
Steering blindly towards dour depressions
Variations
Preperations
Knock down drag out
Transformations

Be veritable, be spurious, those are the elections
Nothing of this is from ones volitions
Liberations
Authentications
Knock down drag out
Congruation

And finally I realize, just who the hell I am
Here I am, I am what I am
The delighted one, exuberant for the UN-discovered country
I am, I am
Heavenly herald breaking down the barricades of guile, lies, and falsehoods
I am, I am
Loving, empathic, and compassionate, tools of an engineer
I am, I am

Singing exultations, gloria, gloria,
Singing exultations, glory, glory
Gloria
Recognitions I discern are for me
Here I am, I am who I am
I am myself...........................for the very first time!

(following is expanded edition)

I am enough
I am me
I am true
I am honest
I am me

I am enough
I AM ME
I am absent guile
I am not lying
I am me

I am enough
I am me
I am bearing true witness
I am true to God
I am me

I am enough
I am me
I am loving
I am sweet
I am kind
I am a flower
I am a bear
I am a bunny
I am a dragon
I am a mother of dragons
I am a delicate damsel
I am a warrior princess
I am an owl
I am a beaver
I am doing what is right
I am making a difference
I am happy
I am joyful
I am better than ever
I am enough

I AM ENOUGH
I AM ME

2 comments:

  1. Some very valuable thoughts and an inspiring poem! Just stay indoors from now on until you get better okay? :) We don't want you getting sicker!

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  2. Thank you so very much, Bryce. Your opinion means a great deal to me, I'm so elated I passed the Bryce test. And thanks for the advice. I'm so bummed about not being well enough to work. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight. So glad you enjoyed my poem though. Thank you. ;) :) <3

    Truly, Leah

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